Finding Stillness
Recently I returned from a two-month trip to Mysore, India. Far away from my normal life, from daily problems, from my well-known routine. I have been returning to India every year to focus on my yoga practice, studying with my teacher, Sharathji. Every time I go, it is a little different, a new experience in its own way. Each time, it feels like my life is on “pause mode”, like the whole world is turning, but I am standing still. Everyone else is continuing with their life and I am suspended somewhere in between. I was looking at how I can use this feeling of stillness, and where can it take me.
The days in Mysore are all similar. We practice asana every morning, followed by philosophy and chanting classes, and the rest of the day is free. Usually, the biggest dilemma you can have is “what will I eat for lunch”? The other half of the day revolves around delicious meals, long walks, reading books, chats with new and old friends. I find that there is also a lot of time to be by yourself, just exploring being still.
The daily asana practice can be very demanding, both physically and emotionally. We start at early hours of the morning, when the world is still sleeping. Beginning the day on the mat, day after day, in the same room, next to the same people, is an experience of its own. Each day, each practice, each asana, can be felt differently on specific days and moments. It’s important to learn to take a step back and just observe what is happening, how you are feeling today in body and mind. Learning to notice ways to deepen an asana, feel stronger in it or maybe just accept that today you feel tighter or heavier.
The next step is taking your exploration deeper, to see where your mind is today. Can you take a moment and just pause? Feel the breath and allow your body to move in harmony with it. Looking to find a stillness deep within, and just be with yourself in this moment. Allow yourself to be present in this quiet place within you.
On some days, this might come naturally, on others, your mind can keep turning. Reaching a moment, when you can accept yourself as you are on this day, without judgment or questioning, is a journey.
So, every time I step on my mat I remind myself that it’s okay to feel whatever I’m feeling. I become the observer, just taking notice. It doesn’t matter if you might say “it’s an awesome” or “it’s a shit practice”, because at some point, you learn to understand that each practice is a good practice. Taking time to be mindful, to be here on the mat, breathing and moving. Just being in this moment.
Exploring my yoga practice this way and allowing myself to be still, has taught me many bigger and smaller lessons. I have found a new appreciation for all the little moments in everyday life. I learned to become more aware of myself, of my friends and loved ones, of my surroundings. Feeling a deep gratitude to be able to have this time in this day. I am trying to really notice things more and truly be present, not letting time pass me by unaware.
It’s much easier to take time for this kind of exploration when you’re far away in India or some other exotic place. This time can be used to really turn the awareness inwards and listen. But the question is, how to find the stillness in a busy day, back home, when there’s a thousand things to do, so many places to go. Is it possible to just pause and breathe?
When I return home, I do my best to keep my yoga practice as one of the most important parts of my day. I may not always have as much time as I would like to, or as much energy, but the time I have, I use as my daily meditation, a sacred place where I find my own stillness. The time on my mat allows me to keep this connection that I found and to maintain it daily. Every person can explore their own way of feeling a stillness in the mind, which helps to see clearly. For some this may be yoga, for others mountain climbing, or maybe playing an instrument, or writing… Whatever it may be, if you find it, then it’ll hold a special place in your heart. In a world that keeps moving, it’s okay to just pause.