Vulnerability in Yoga

The last few weeks have been very stressful for most of us, and it doesn’t seem to be getting better just yet. It’s time to accept the situation and see what we can do to manage the stress better. Yoga is an amazing tool to be able to connect with your breath, calm your mind and also get your body moving. Which is now even more important than ever. We are stuck at home and all that we really need to start practice, is a yoga mat. Whatever your situation is right now, it’s great to be able to take a step back and relax the mind.

I feel amazingly lucky to know a beautiful method, that allows me to find an inner calm in all this craziness happening in the world. The stress that has been part of each day can accumulate and be felt in different ways, once we step on our mats. You might notice yourself moving slower, feeling tighter or heavier. Now, the question is, how do you practice? Do you allow yourself to feel the way you are feeling? Or do you push through the practice, the postures, the breath, no matter what?

I think it is important to allow yourself to feel vulnerable during your practice. It is okay to feel this way. Just showing up on your mat and doing what you can is enough.

Practice is here to help us find strength for the rest of the day. These are difficult times, which put a lot of pressure on us every day, so let’s take off the pressure in yoga. Each asana does not have to be perfect, it does not have to feel or look as it did two weeks ago. Yoga is here for us to find space where we lost it, to breathe through the tightness.

It’s okay to do less. Maybe do more breathing, some pranayama, chanting. Maybe a long savasana. Yoga isn’t here for us to have another thing to worry about, but to help us in hard times. Through consistent daily practice, we can find inner strength, to cope with the situation we are thrown into. But in order to find that strength, you sometimes need to allow yourself to feel more fragile, to experience sadness, vulnerability or grief. Next time you are on your mat, let yourself feel whatever you are feeling.

I’ve noticed that it’s often Ashtangis who are too strict with themselves. Of course, we sometimes have to push through laziness and show up on our mats, attempt asanas which we would rather skip, or not eat that last slice of pizza (lol). But sometimes it’s alright to let go a bit, still practice, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up with this practice. You can do part of your regular practice, maybe only primary series or just standing postures today? You can even change the sequence if you feel like it, or add some movements, nobody is going to call the Ashtanga police!

For me, progress in asana practice has never felt linear, it was always an up and down kind of situation. I could bind for a few months, in some postures and then I couldn’t. I could catch my heels, for a little while, in kapotasana and then it went away. Sometimes, the changes from day to day were so drastic that I felt like in someone else’s body.  I was never one of those “spaghetti people” for who bending in all directions came easily. It was a lot of hard work every day.

A few times, when I went back to an old teacher, who I hadn’t seen for a while, I would hear a comment, that I used to be able to do this. It made me feel like there is some expectation. That if I once could do something, then I should always be able to.  Otherwise maybe there’s something wrong with me. Well, I don’t think there is.

To all those yogis who have struggled in similar ways, I write this post. If during these stressful times you are feeling your practice change, don’t worry. It will all come back, but for now let us just breathe.  Feel your movement connect with your breath. It will be healing no matter if you can bind or not, if you can touch your toes or not..

Just step on your mat and start. Ekam inhale, dve exhale…